13 Discipleship Lessons for Every Believer
The word “disciple” means learner or pupil. All people everywhere are invited to follow Jesus and learn from Him about the nature of God and His eternal kingdom. But becoming a disciple of Jesus isn’t primarily about knowledge and information; it’s about life transformation. This begins by recognizing that none of us are fundamentally good or righteous before God; we have all missed the mark and fallen short of who He created us to be. In spite of our failures and sins, God has chosen to love us and offer us redemption through the death and resurrection of Jesus. Through faith in His grace, we can be cleansed of our sin and miraculously “born again” to a new spiritual life! This amazing miracle is called “regeneration” and is beautifully explained in Titus 3:3-7:
3 For we too were once foolish, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another. 4 But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, 5 He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we did in righteousness, but in accordance with His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom He richly poured out upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
Salvation is our entrypoint to God’s kingdom; it is the beginning of an entirely new way of life! As “newborn infants” who have been adopted into God’s family, we naturally have some growing up to do. Many of us have spent years living in disobedience and darkness, but now we have become children of light. Learning to live in our new identity requires a maturation process called “discipleship”. God is a good Father who is raising up sons and daughters to be like Him - good and righteous and true. To this end, scripture calls us to become “doers of the word, not merely hearers who deceive themselves” (James 1:22). Healthy discipleship will always include an invitation to obedience. Jesus Himself said, “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” (Matthew 7:24)
The root word for “discipleship” is discipline. 1 Timothy 4:7 says, “Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness.” Very simply, a disciple is someone who has listened to the words of Jesus and acted upon those teachings in a way that has shaped their life to become like Him in character and action. While this journey must be committed to by the individual, it is far from a solitary quest. Proverbs 13:20 declares, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” The church is a spiritual family where mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers all take part in helping the younger family members mature. 1 John 2:12-13 gives us powerful insight into this reality:
I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for His name's sake. I am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who is from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one.
Being immature is not an insult—it is a fact of life! It simply means that someone is “not fully developed.” By that definition, we are all still immature to one degree or another. Having an accurate assessment of our maturity actually helps us identify what we need in order to grow, as well as who can help us become fully developed followers of Jesus.
Ephesians 4:11-14 shows us how other people are necessary for individual and corporate maturity:
And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, 14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.
God is growing us up! Discipleship is the process, community is the greenhouse, and God’s Word is the guidebook. As the Body of Christ, let’s look at 13 Foundational Teachings for those wanting to go on the journey of becoming a fully transformed disciple of Jesus.
Believing and Receiving // John 1:9-13; 1 John 4:15-16
Knowing Who You Are // 1 John 3:1-3; Galatians 4:3-7
Hearing the Shepherd’s Voice // John 10:1-5; John 16:12-15
Seeking First the Kingdom // Matthew 6:25-33
Getting Alone with God // Mark 1:35; Psalm 62:5-8
Loving One Another // John 13:34-35; 1 John 4:7-11
Forgiving Quickly // Colossians 3:12-14; 2 Corinthians 2:5-11; Matthew 6:14-15
Fleeing Temptation // 1 Corinthians 6:18-20; 1 Corinthians 10:6-13; James 1:12-16
Submitting to Others // Luke 7:1-10; Hebrews 13:17; Ephesians 5:21
Giving Generously // 2 Corinthians 9:6-11; 1 Timothy 6:17-19
Fasting Regularly // Matthew 6:16-18
Serving Humbly // Mark 10:42-45; Philippians 2:1-7
Making Disciples // Matthew 28:18-20; 2 Tim. 2:1-7
You can walk through these passages alone, with a friend, or in a small group. Accountability with others is highly recommended! “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
Here is an example of an intentional discipleship meeting:
Fellowship
How has your walk with Jesus been this week?
What victories can we celebrate? What struggles can we pray for?
Ask if they fulfilled their “I will” statement from the previous week (see below)
Engage in confession of sin and repentance if needed
Offer encouragement or direction as needed
Scripture
Ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate the Scripture you’re about to read
Read the selected passages of Scripture and ask these questions:
What does this passage reveal about God? (His ways, desires, character)
What does this passage reveal about us as people? (commands, promises, challenges)
How can we obey the scripture and apply this to our lives? (get specific)
Is there anyone I need to share this with?
Accountability
Create an “I will” statement in response to the Scripture read. This will become the accountability check-in for the next discipleship meeting. Here are some examples:
“I will make time to get alone with God by ________”
“I will extend forgiveness to that person who hurt me and pursue reconciliation”
“I will obey this scripture by cutting out ________ or resisting the temptation to _________”
Q+A Time with Chris Pletcher
The root word for “discipleship” is discipline. 1 Timothy 4:7 says, “Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness.” Very simply, a disciple is someone who has listened to the words of Jesus and acted upon those teachings in a way that has shaped their life to become like Him in character and action.
While this journey must be committed to by the individual, it is far from a solitary quest. Proverbs 13:20 declares, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” The church is a spiritual family where mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers all take part in helping the younger family members mature.
Everyone needs RELATIONSHIP. We never grow out of our need for the connection, encouragement and shaping that comes from others. But let’s define a few different types of relationships and explore the purpose of each.
Discipleship — Everyone enters God’s family as “newborn infants” who need to “grow up into salvation” (1 Peter 2:2). Discipleship is when spiritually mature believers help the new members of the family learn the ways of Jesus and His Kingdom. Similar to the newborn and toddler stage of human development, new believers require a lot of love, attention and support until they learn to feed themselves and walk with Jesus on their own two feet. The goal is that they grow from being primarily dependent on others to being interdependent contributors within the family.
Sharpening — “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17) As we mature, we must embrace God’s vision for community, vulnerability and relationship with one another. Our growth into Christlike love and maturity happens as we share life with one another in a way that is authentic and edifying. “Encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) Sharpening happens through Lifegroups, Serve Teams and friendships. It is a mutual exchange that builds up both people involved.
Mentorship — “One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.” (Psalm 145:4) Mentorship is a relational exchange between generations with a specific growth purpose in mind. A mentor is NOT someone who takes responsibility for my walk with God and perpetually holds my hold! A mentor is often someone who has authority in an area of life that you want to grow in. A mentorship relationship should have a clear purpose, timeframe and end date so that expectations are met and co-dependency is avoided.
Q&A’s
“How do you balance family/fatherhood/motherhood and discipleship of others outside of your family unit?”
Here’s why I love this question…
You can’t disciple everyone. You can’t make room for everyone. Jesus had 12. You only have so much relational bandwidth, so I would say proceed prayerfully and invest in the people that Jesus is leading you to disciple. Resist responding from obligation - that usually doesn’t go well or leads to burnout. Follow the Spirit.
Invite those people into your world and look for ways to include them in your already established rhythms. Jesus beautifully modeled this for us. His life was a balance of shared time and experiences mixed with intentional teaching moments.
Moms - Invite younger women to join you as you clean the house or cook dinner. Invite them to tag along at the park and do one of the D-ship lessons while the kids play.
Share the story about Cameron and Friday mornings at Alpha…
“The infant analogy sounds like we don’t need continued discipleship but we are to “grow up” - please clarify.”
As a new believer, you will need a lot of support from the family in the early years. You will be very hungry for truth (sponge stage). You will discover the beauty (and some of the messiness) of community with others. It’s a beautiful growth stage! For me, this was college. Super-charged years of growth. I had a lot of people that walked with me and invested in me. But I grew up to a place of maturity where I could let go of their hand, keep hold of JESUS, and begin to offer a hand to others.
The MAIN PERSON discipling me is JESUS. The main person responsible for my spiritual growth is ME. The exception is during the early years of your faith where it is a developmental necessity to be more intentionally helped by others.
I’m already really independent, and I don’t think that’s exactly a good thing. I’m in Lifegroup and I have friends, but I feel that discipleship/mentorship is missing.
I want to affirm that “independence” is not a Kingdom value. Resist that temptation. “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” (Proverbs 18:1)
BUT… you can also be “mentored” by your community. What I mean is that you might not have 1 person who you meet for lunch every week, but you are connected with a community where you are still being sharpened by the culture and mentored by the values.
If you sense something is missing, ask God, “What is missing in my growth and formation as a man/woman?” Once you get clear on that, ask Him, “Is there anyone in particular that I can glean from in that area? Or is this an area for me to press in with You, Lord?”
My mentor for worship and prayer was King David… I spent so much time in the Psalms because it was a language I didn’t receive as a child. It was sharpened by a guy named Calen Taylor, who is younger than me but had more authority and revelation in this area of life. We were on staff together in Texas and sharpened each other.
My mentor in fatherhood is John Eldredge… He has no idea who I am and he has profoundly shaped how I love and lead my children.
“What kind of qualities should we look for in people that we will invest hours into every month? It’s a big commitment!”
2 Timothy 2:1-2 // You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.
Give your best FAITHFUL people who demonstrate that they want to become DOERS of the word. Look for those who are eager and hungry to transfer it to others as well. If someone is flaky, non-committal, or doesn’t follow through with the accountability portion, then graciously move on and give your time to those who want to be faithful. In cross-cultural discipleship, I know missionaries who will stop meeting with a potential disciple if they show up to the 2nd meeting and didn’t follow through on lesson 1.
If you sniff out that someone doesn’t want to mature but just wants you to spoon feed them and hold their hand… move on. It may sound harsh… but don’t waste your time with someone who is repeatedly unfaithful.
Response
Jesus, how can I grow spiritually this summer? How do you want to disciple me?
Father, is there anyone that I can share the Gospel with this year?
Father, is there anyone that I can help grow as a disciple this year?